Final Transmission

 

**BZZZTTTT**

And so, as our power dwindles to zero, this will be the final transmission from the SS James Cameron of the Western Earth Spacefleet, Captain Calvin Walters reporting. I'm sorry that we on the Cameron were interrupted in our mission by tragedy, but we knew what we signed up for. We knew there was risk, but the pursuit of peace and scientific knowledge was more important. We have no regrets. Fortune favors the brave. Signing off.

**BZZZTTTT**

This is Captain Calvin Walters again, of the SS James Cameron. An update: Turns out our power situation was not as dire as estimated. I'd forgotten that, just as a car's gas tank is not bone dry when the needle hits E, there are extra power supplies when our indicators read 0%. Just to dummy-proof things, I guess. Which makes me the dummy, since I'm the one who cut off the life support of the rest of the crew some time ago, hoping to save power for a last-minute rescue. Listen, we all forget things, right? We're still at the end of our power, just not the end end. Crap.

**BZZZTTTT**

Which means we are still open to the idea of rescue.

**BZZZTTTT**

This is Captain Calvin Walters of the SS James Cameron. At this stage of our mission, I would like to recommend citations of valor and meritorious service, posthumously, to the entire crew of our ship. They gave their lives for the good of humanity. I'd also like to recognize Lucy and Charlie Brown, the naked mole rats who kept us company through so many long days in space.

**BZZZTTTT**

To clarify, I am not recommending citations of valor for the mole rats. That'd be crazy. Sorry to disappoint the critics out there.

**BZZZTTTT**

I'd like to send my warmest regards to my wife, Dr. Avni Joshi. Ours was a marriage of convenience to advance our careers, of course, but she was a good sport, and always upbeat, and a damn good scientist. I wish her well.

**BZZZTTTT**

And I apologize for letting the rumors about a girlfriend named Tiana circulate without my stopping them. It was just a macho thing among some of the flyboys, and I regret if it caused anyone pain.

**BZZZTTTT**

Boy, this is way more power than I thought I'd get.

**BZZZTTTT**

I regret also those long hours I wasted reading Master and Commander and the other novels of Patrick O'Brian. The British Imperial Navy holds few lessons for our work in space, but it looked kind of captain-y, so I kept it up. Same with the fake pipe.

**BZZZTTTT**

In retrospect, installing the slushie machine in the galley was a mistake. It ate up a huge amount of power, and the crew was over the novelty quickly.

**BZZZTTTT**

From the perspective of space, with near-infinite darkness in every direction, you gain a bit of wisdom about the struggles we have on Earth. What we let divide us is so miniscule, tragically. Donuts and crullers are good. And so are cronuts. It almost doesn't need to be said, but sometimes it does.

**BZZZTTTT**

Baseball was killed by robot umpires. We scientists have to own that. Also, the many killings committed by the robot umpires in the final weeks of October last year. Our fault.

**BZZZTTTT**

Don't ask me how I got "Electric Avenue" stuck in my head. Haven't heard that one in years.

**BZZZTTTT**

The worst thing about space? Government-issue Q-Tips. Seriously. The worst.

**BZZZTTTT**

Scientists are focused on details, systems, and patterns, but up here in space, to convey the majesty and power of everything we behold, it would take a poet. Too bad I cut off his life support system with the rest of the crew. If I find Patterson's notes, I'll send them along.

**BZZZTTTT**

Ringo Starr was Earth's luckiest person of the 20th century. Come at me.

**BZZZTTTT**

Can you remember your high school fight song? I can't. Am I losing my mind?

**BZZZTTTT**

Shit. Power keeps increasing. I feel like I'm trying to leave a party, y'know, jingling my keys.

**BZZZTTTT**

Where's the “delete” button? Isn't there a . . .

**BZZZTTTT**

This is Captain Calvin Walters of the SS James Cameron. I have just received word that our ship will be rescued in six hours by the SS Octavia Butler in the Western Earth Spacefleet command. Please disregard all transmissions that may have been received in the past 30 minutes. They were notes for a novel.

**BZZZTTTT**

 

Story: 
Issue Appeared In: 
Dragonfly and Dragonflyman #5